this ship is taking me far away.
note: i thought i published this long ago… i think i wrote it a couple weeks back in the thick of all the worry. i found it saved in my drafts. whatev. here is is, in it’s raw form.
how nice it must be… to be caged within yourself. to protect your own, and nothing more. to be completely complacent with a shallow heart. at moments, i desire a feeling like that – yet, to succumb to it entirely would – in my eyes, mean nothing short of failure. i want to feel completely again, and i don’t want to be scared to lose. i have decided to embrace, rather than despise, each little imperfection of my heart. … my inability to close it off, my inability to protect it entirely despite much effort, along with my inability to determine, or even slightly manipulate, the depth at which it decides to feel.
———-
“I am not afraid of storms, for it is then that I learn how to sail my ship.”
- Louisa May Alcott
