THE DARLING LIFE

seriously! — i do have the worst luck of most people i know. i have checked into this, trust me… that is one thing that i actually do “win” at in life.

so i found out today that some world of warcraft punk bought a bunch of WoW lamer points off of my paypal account today – andddd, not only do i have absolutely NO idea how the heck said person GOT my paypal account info, it really got me thinking…

if i stole someones paypal account (not that I WOULD, but hypothetically speaking, of course), i’m pretty sure the LAST thing i would buy with it would be some WoW points. i mean seriously. com’on. — WoW points? what about a nice handbag? some rims for the car? buy your mom some dinner (on me, of course), or take a cruise to the caribbean. if you’re going to be a criminal, thereby aiding in the complete depletion of my bank account, just do it right, is all i’ve got to say.

i guess if my money was going to make SOMEBODY’s day (other than my own), at least it could have been by doing something cooler.

_________________________________________________

Dear Paypal,

I want my money back.

Sincerely,

One severely broke 25 year old girl.

well well wellllll… as my mind returns to a slower pace, (and by slower, i don’t mean abnormally slow…more of a “normal” kind of slow in comparison to the capacity it was previously running in)… i can finally take a deep breath. got lots of wonderful things coming up in the near future… my little baby nephew Ryan should be here any day now (woot!), a few birthdays coming up to plan, my bestfriend is visiting from Texas for a WEEK!… art shows, baseball games, and hopefully a few warm summer nights with a cool malibu and pineapple in my hand.

i’ve realized a lot of things lately…for whatever reason, i decided to compare my present life to that of a jigsaw puzzle.

a year ago… i was confident in the placing of each piece…working hard and steady to complete my puzzle in the right order, one little piece at a time. i was doing good. i was proud. each move was deliberate…and more perfect than the last. and there i sat, pieces in hand…with my eye on this big beautiful elaborate scene on the outside of the box which i knew, with hard work, i would one day obtain. why wouldn’t i?

but then, in one single moment… without reason, without expectation, that all changed. my happy little puzzle was torn into a million pieces… some parts ruined, to where they would never fit just right again… others strewn about, making them hard to find although i once held them securely in my hands, and others, gone… missing forever.

so here i am… a disheveled puzzle. (are you following this?)… working to replace and rebuild the pieces which i had previously put in to place, but fatefully doing so now without all of my pieces… parts that can never be replaced. parts that are not lost, but are simply…gone. as i work to rebuild, not only do i have to accept that i will never again have a fully complete puzzle to look forward to… that beautiful elaborate scene on the outside of the box, but also that all of my hard work which i had previously done was now gone… reality set in. as i rebuild, i will have to work around the parts which simply will never be filled again.

and, while although i may complete my puzzle one day, it will always be missing some pieces. some parts which fit snuggly before, will never fit just the same way again. and when i get to the end of my puzzle and look down at it…surely, it will be beautiful, but it will never be as beautiful as it could have been…

that elaborate beautiful scene on the outside of the box…

only my memory of what once was, can fill in those empty places which once were.

and so is life.

one big, messy, jigsaw puzzle, and we’re just trying to keep all of our pieces.

I decided, after spending a few moments deliberating due to the fact that I haven’t really written anything in a while, to create this blog. As I sit here, coffee in hand (as is the norm)…, I can’t help but wonder where to take this? Of course, the subject matter is clearly irrelevant as I suspect that this is surely for “my eyes only”…but really, where should it go? But more so, where do I start?…

I suppose I can just talk about random daily shenanigans I seem to always end up in…

…things that interest me…

…things that make me smile…

Or perhaps the way I always seem to be a magnet for the worst.luck.ever.

Hmm… well, with time, I am sure this will develop itself. Now if only I could get some sleep…